I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He did a backflip because drugs
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