One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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