I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
God, I missed his penis.
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