good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
