Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My vagina is very pro this idea
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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