it hurts more in the daytime
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Please don't give away my fajitas
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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