We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
