Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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