I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Be still, my beating vagina.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
