based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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