I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize