I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
