you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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