i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
