I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
