idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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