I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
