this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
