i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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