My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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