all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
