I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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