You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
