and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
