My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
