My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Let's paint friendship bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize