I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
