Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
