we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
