Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
