You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
your room smells of hookers.
And success
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
