last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize