69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
