why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
