Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
