He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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