i just had sex bonerless
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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