Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
