I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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