I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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