U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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