brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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