Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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