Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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