You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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