how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
