U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
