just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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