I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
