More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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