Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.