bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
