We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.