Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

(785): View more from Kansas

He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

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(806): View more from Texas

Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?

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(812): View more from Indiana

I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(571): View more from Virginia

I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.

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(209): View more from California

I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on

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(910): View more from North Carolina

All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.

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