you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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