I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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