This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
pray to the hookup gods
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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