I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
