Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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