Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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