Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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