I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
