Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
