I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
