i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
