spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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