pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you didnt know i had herpes?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
