I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hippo gnu deer
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
