ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
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I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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