did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
