People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
